The RESISTANCE FACTOR
The ToeKnee Showthe resistance factor
The following letter to an old friend seemed more like a Blog entry.
so... I offer it here, since it may be worth a read...
DEAR ___.
I just wanted you to know that everything you write, I read more than
once. I study my replies before I write... but sometimes they may seem eclectic...
The secret is not to read them for the specific details, but to expereince them in totality... like stepping into waves of a Monterey Beach.
I realize, if read as a personal letter, they seem to dance around ideas... and seem less like a reply to speicifics.... this is what I noticed I may have to
work on, a bit.... when it comes to writing personal letters...
Maybe I have to learn, re-learn that knack for the personal writing...
In any case...sometimes jumping between ideas- thought forms may seem confusing... I
realize that.
......
Even though you aren't asking for it... I still try to honor my path, by offering the ideas the invisible presents...
If they float in... I let them hit the page.
I've learned not ot judge whaty I write... maybe I could edit myself a little better... but for me this style of writing is a creative process into outer reaches of hte unknown... similar to the way I approach creating a song... a film... painting... a performance... for me it all comes from the same ocean of creativity.
Same as hands on...
Same as allowing the (so called) ... psychic realms to speak...
...a series of concepts will appear in a certain order.
I feel a responsibility to honor that order.
... I have come to understand this process as a certain kind of
energetic dance, one that works well for me, that touches certain brainwaves, like a waves on the
ocean.... peripheral ideas spring up...
I've come to see it as a sort of accupuncture via thought forms.
Honoring this process often reveals ideas along the way.
some have changed me for the better... others I have urged myself to let go... but always I am a different person by the expereince.
all that matters is that there is an expansion... a betterment... a resutl that shows it was responsible for future time.
Stirring up ideas, eventually creates a sort of shift...
A Paradigm shift.
...but I never assume that my interpretation of the shift is that actual purpose, or the reality.
Time and space, and exploration and testing....
I have seen that these are the routes that help me see the procession towards future goals.
As I have explained before, often such phenomenon has lead me forward, and I have seen complete
changes beyond co-incidence... or been drawn towards a certain process that
eventually processes itself...
When I look back and see that the invisible required my
co-operation... or such processes would never have occurred, I get grateful that I embraced the process this way.
anyway.
It is, for me a very similar energy to creating a painting, writing a song... singing a
certain way... same flow... same as hands on...
The written word is only part of the process... what I expereince while it flows through sort of helps me gauge my effectiveness in honoring it.
Lot's of time and testing has brought me this far.
but it's all still a process.
Separate from results I might actually wish or hope for... in myself and others.
If it's just me giving speeches... then i would rather quit.
If it is just me in delusion, then I would rather quit... and just work in a garden.
Instead, over time I have heard feedback that leads me to suggest to myself that there is a purpose to this.
the same kind of feedback keeps me painting, keeps me singing, keeps me writing songs... keeps me creating video for tv- film... some future release.
All just a different routes to similar outcomes... all sponsored by similar use of the machinery of the brain and our intuitive nature...
In any case.
I have been sort of tossing you some stuff that I know would hit the
"resistance factor" .
Not intending harm... But knowing that the vibration between ideas, beliefs, expectations, expereince will create a sort of shake-up... like tossing wheat up into the wind, in hopes of separating the wheat from the chaff... the meaningful from the obsolete.
Realizing that it would bounce up against your
internal doubts... might seem a little cruel.
But I know you beyond the limitations you suggest you are working your way through. I know that the strong part of you will sift wisely. I just hope you do not take the ideas that come as a personal attack.
I love you beyond what any of this means.
Any of it.
Yet I have to acknowledge that you never asked for this.
I am not sure you would want me this deep in your process.
What I have seen, known and understood about my own process of refinement- re-findment, is that I tned to fight the process I am in, when I am in it... at certain stages... I call this fight the origin of dis-ease. At least for me, this is so.
It showcases my "resistance factors".
Every healer knows that there are essential components for true healing.
Most importantly, belief that healing is possible, managing the balance through-out the whole process... and showcasing the capacity to sustain new platforms... to sustain the healing as it fiinds us... and it always finds us right where we are waiting for it... slowing alignment with false identities, false expectations, false interpretations... so that a foothold for new growth and expansion take a deeper hold and furthe expands to replace the false with a more pure identity.
Many years of practise have relevealed this to me... but... it is also true that this is simply my route.
Dealing directly with finding the resistance and dancing with it... as friend.
Outdated though it may be, it showcases areas to explore, greet... and then release for a higher good.
So... in summary, the underlying causes get discovered beneath the discomforts... and the
only way I have ever been able to see deeper in my own process was to allow
my brain to have free reign... and in some cases it was as if I felt aligned with a side of my self that was like an unbridled
raging idiot, perhaps what i was afraid that I might have become.
A more tender, gentle side of me was just beneath this... and the "release" of the masked overlay helped me reveal portions of the puzzle.
Reasons why fear had caused me to accept an imposter identity ... sometimes not realizing the reality would be witing for me to recover what was lost later.
Rather than curse this, I have come to understand that all are footseps to the present moemnt... all steps necessary... and understanding that grace caused me to grow and see the idfference I can make TODAY.
And to what degree the present moment can reveal a pathway, I have learned to accept.
Luckily I was smart enough to process these things in private...
That's what I mean about the "luxury" of internal investigation.
Not many people, in our modern world ever have the chance, or the tools,
or the opportunities to get a good look inside themselves... or to experience (by doing so) that a realm of self exists beyond personality or past choices.
In your case, I already know YOU know yourself...
but just becasue i say this, does not mean that you know that YOU know yourself as who you are...
Most expereince their internal beuaty expressed, without realizing it is evidence of soul.
Lately your letters have pointed to your current processes through which you are in process of refinding pathwasy towards points of a refinement necessary...
These are for you to recognise... and indeed only you can know what you see.
This is where I differ from other "so called" healers.
I no longer believe that anyone outside of us can fully know where we need to go. Our soul knows... and others can reflect... but the identity we bring is ours alone and th epurpose is divine. No commentary process from the outside of us can do good beyond a certain point.
A guide is only a guide.
The journey is ours.... and it is sacred.
all outside reflectors can become tools for our own resolution... but it is up to us to pick and choose... and we always do... we always do.
Best to refine, and then expedite, but also to test... and then to allow the useless to drop away, or to be put on hold while find a truer context for the tools.
We all have to do our own process... No ONE can do our process for us... and this is always so... whether we consciously step in and take hold of portions to expand intentionally or do so on "automatic pilot" it is always our own responsibility.
Sometimes, when the going gets rough on my path, I admit that hate knowing this...
And , at those times I have hated my own process, which was/is fair under the pain of the strain involved...
It never mattered...
the process waited for me to re-embrace it... and forward motion happened in it's own way, anyway.
So... I realized I had to love the pain and the strain, for waht it showed me... but not for it's harsh revelations.
either way... all the good came when I embraced it...
and I got grateful I survived the doubts, the fears... the limiters... to see my true unlimited foundations.
same as yours.
unlimited beneath all this process.
I guess that means I allowed myself to see that I was hating my life during those times.
But I would not be in one piece today if that's as far as it ever went.
Such relaities are as they are, and only become known when they ARE. It's how we respond to the reality that such could be possible... that makes the difference...
How we use it.
Anyway.
I dont' suggest that any of this could be useful for you. Right now it's for you to choose what's useful. All around you, you have signals only you can see... meanings and symbols and reflectors in your life near and far... what they represent is encoded, like a code only your soul can recognise.
All I suggest is that you embrace the obvious...
but I apologize for how this sounds... because i already know...That's just me.
I used to think a similar process was necessary for all humans...
But I got straightened out, regarding this assumption, these past few years.
Every person unique... every soul uniQue... every process unique...
...and all of it sacred, no matter how it turns out.
Meanwhile, we can help each other....
And the only way, it seems to me... is loving each other beyond what we each go through.
.......
In regards to my own physical, and ongoing healing (yes, we either are getting born each second or busy dying), the methods I have used have been ones that first stabilized various
conditions thorugh intense herbal remedies... you name it, I have used
them.
I discovered that If I can accomplish a stabilization... which means less pain, physically, evidenced also through a better mind
set... with less resistance... (by the way, physical pain that continues is , in my interpretation expression of resistance... lack of flow).
Then I next go to the emotional processes... I do a review and a series of
straight talks soul to soul with myself... Examining the Beliefs that brought me to where I was in such pain.
Some of the masks I have put on and taken off through these sessions would
have completely terrified anyone close to me. So I learned to be grateful for the distance folks took to me while i was in this process.... I learned it was all mercy.
I guess that's why I no longer curse the times I was solo at those times in my life...
Looking back on those processes, I wouldn't advise anyone doing anything
close to them without a therapist. But the choice in so called therapist is a very vital one. Few so called therapists can truly deal with illusions and pharmaceuticals only mask the routes.
But then again...
I know of know school of therapy that covers the ground I covered in
relation to myself-soul...
Which lead me to study so many routes I can't count them... and in each school of thought there are expnents who healed deeper than can be imagined...
Again showcasing how the resistance factors, if dropped away... or any route, can be sacred when it's time has come ... and how sacred for the unique healing for that unique soul.
Finding a so called practitiner or healer thourhg seminars or workshops can be useful for the practise... But I learned to pick and chyoose what felt right for me at the time... and the most sacred journeys came start to finish through the invisible... that was in my case.... Still, I haven't met a practitioner who hasn't gotten lost in details of certain kinds of
scenarios. No phd or medical school can prepare a person for the deeper work... the best get themselves close enough to the work to let it happen... get out of it's way.
As we all know, it used to be against the rules of hospitals and other institutions to even have preachers ome in and do hands-on work...nowadays it's even part of what most hospitals encourage. showcasing that they recognise the receptivity to healing can be enhanced through prayer and other practises, even if they call the practitioners quacks.
In my own case,
I don't go by what the various age old scholars interpreted from their
similar journeys...
Since I have found that their process was unique and not a guaranteed route.
If a person ssumes the trust factor and release through faith to a certain style, seems to me it will always work.
But may not wo0rk because of the actual process, but because of the receptivity and trust.
Which, as we have seen, has been proven time and again through placebos.
Belief and trust seem to be the main compnenet for sustained healing.
so... even though I haven't tried to explain my speicfic processes, I can still
say that I am very amazed that I got through them.
Yet I do not assume they could ever work for others or even be taught.
Someday I hope to find out...
But with many disclaimers.
And never as a rejection of so called western medicine.
It seems that combinations of strategies can sustain a process until it refines and takes hold.
Buyin time is a real option.
And worth the wait.
........
As far as herbal remedies go...
If I needed to know something, I would pray to know it... offer the right query as best I coudl refine it... and soon a practitioner who had studied a solution for that process, that step...would walk across my path
and describe it...
Other times, through prayer, I would find myslef walking through a section of a bookstore that covered styles of practice... and a book glowed and I would take it off the shelf and open
to the right page.
Just becasue I have stories and objective witnesses to this process....
E-mails and letters, or voicemails before and after... showcasing these "miracles"... and the herbal and the massage and the other practises, does not mean that any of this is ultimate, or that it would work again for others, or even that it worked for me.
Unless... yes... unless I could show to myslef via long term results and reflectors in my world/life... that a difference in process ahd truly emerged.
Meanwhile... all I know is that certain symptoms that were so severe I could barely function,
Seem to have subsided.
And I soon discovered that when this was the case, I had to , at some point stop examining the results and trust that they had found a home.
And yes, it is also true that I allowed myself to consider that perhaps...
I just raised my thresh hold for pain.
From inside a process, it's truly hard to know.
And time... space... testing... and self discovery can reveal , to a degree, present reality.
.......
So , I developed methods for testing my process, and progress...
If it matters, I can go into detail, some other letter...
.....
Back to the range of remedy.
for example;
For about 6 years of my recent life, I would drink about quart of fresh
wheatgrass juice a week.
sometimes a pint a day...
Because I had studied how closely fresh wheatgrass juice is similar to Hemoglobin. The essential minerals, vitality of "plant blood" also easily assimilated and easily refreshing healthy cells.
Purification of the blood... taking time to rest the digestive system...gaining time to see whcih parts of my physical system could utilize the pure food of wheatgrass...
Saved my life then... just long enough to figure out how to deal with other causes for the physical pain of those days.
While at the same time taking massive doses of of a certain herbal remedy suggested by an herbal shaman in the southwest. A remedy that is proven to kill the liver, if taken wrongly or in too large doses.
Yet, my symptoms were so severe I had to do this... and I took the other portions of supplements designed to safegurad the liver simultaneously.
As you know, I have had a diminished liver function due to sankebite at age 14, so... I knew that I was in a modality that was "no messing around".
There I was doing all these
massive doses of what is basically chemo.
anyway.
That was then.
I must have found the right balance points.
Most of the time, I do not have the pain or the tumour like lumps, or the
discomforts...
I found I have had to balance my life in all it's facets, in order to go for long stretches,
not falling back into the same throws of death...
I have had a cable access tv show for close to 15 years.
I have the video from these various stages. Anyone who wants to see the stages in my physical form can see that this is no joke. I just looked at some footage from the time I now speak of... and see the sparkle in my eyes then , almost gone... lights were going out. enough said.
People see me now, and their jaw drops.
If they knew me during one of these severe times, then hardly recognise me
now. Soem say I have de-aged... some ask me over and agin if it is really me... they can't seem to reconcile the difference.
Because of the severity of some of the processes I (guess) survived... ,
I often reflected to people around me that those times back then were peak times... many
folks didn't realize I felt I was doing everything I was doing for the LAST
time...
I made my intent count... I made my actions count...
They realized they were getting far more "bang for their
buck" when I worked with them on anything. And they used what I offered for all it was worth...
Huge projects, lots of money, fame, happened FOR THEM... all that stuff sprang out of the
projects I worked on... in some cases, they actually stole the shares they could have given me...
Mostly I was working on trust...
but I also never recognised that I might actually live long enough for any share of the outcomes (my shares) to make a difference.
Being healed is one thing... healed and broke another.
Yet...
Actually, most cases, I didn't expect to be around for the
harvest... and actually left myself out of that part...
It's a pecualiar thing...
Big mountains got moved.
Projects and ideas went world wide...
Here I am, and still not much of my own creative expression has
gotten to it's true audeince...
Barely the money to be able to even eat.
anyway...
sort of showcases my lack of gratitude...
Because... rather than being dead, I am alive...
And it seems like I still can do whatever I choose with my own intellectual
property...
and so... I see the perfect route for additional soul healing,
through soul expression...
Also through honoring the physical needs of the future, which only love expressed through money can sustain.
appplying the same 11th hour attitude to everything...
Enveloping life's equations with Soul Purpose... caring about intention...
These are essential to true deeper ehaling.
A purpose for living, how to use any estra time.
Otherwise, for me... life is useless if I am only going to consume... fart and take up other people's time.
Creating what will expand as benefit for whole groups of
people, not just myself....
Has become essential to life's purpose.
Has merged me to my spiritual path.
Not leaving myself out. The only part I left out... now becoming as essential as what I intend for others.
The resistance factor is always my first friend on the path to getting
closer to being fully healed.
the resistance factor shows me my spiritual need.
by introducing me first to my rage and doubt and disbelief.
It's never been a barrier...
Instead...
it has always been the gate.
-toe
ToeKneeStanger.com
"...another interesting test adventure into the ART of the magic of
intention.... while maintaining relaxed-rocky-steady- balance .... inside
the wild rides on the WAVE of this ocean called LIFE in the so-called
'material' plane" - toe knee
"ARTintoLIFE is LIFEintoART" ... yeah!
www.ARTintoLIFE.com
http://www.zazzle.com/toekneestanger*
The following letter to an old friend seemed more like a Blog entry.
so... I offer it here, since it may be worth a read...
DEAR ___.
I just wanted you to know that everything you write, I read more than
once. I study my replies before I write... but sometimes they may seem eclectic...
The secret is not to read them for the specific details, but to expereince them in totality... like stepping into waves of a Monterey Beach.
I realize, if read as a personal letter, they seem to dance around ideas... and seem less like a reply to speicifics.... this is what I noticed I may have to
work on, a bit.... when it comes to writing personal letters...
Maybe I have to learn, re-learn that knack for the personal writing...
In any case...sometimes jumping between ideas- thought forms may seem confusing... I
realize that.
......
Even though you aren't asking for it... I still try to honor my path, by offering the ideas the invisible presents...
If they float in... I let them hit the page.
I've learned not ot judge whaty I write... maybe I could edit myself a little better... but for me this style of writing is a creative process into outer reaches of hte unknown... similar to the way I approach creating a song... a film... painting... a performance... for me it all comes from the same ocean of creativity.
Same as hands on...
Same as allowing the (so called) ... psychic realms to speak...
...a series of concepts will appear in a certain order.
I feel a responsibility to honor that order.
... I have come to understand this process as a certain kind of
energetic dance, one that works well for me, that touches certain brainwaves, like a waves on the
ocean.... peripheral ideas spring up...
I've come to see it as a sort of accupuncture via thought forms.
Honoring this process often reveals ideas along the way.
some have changed me for the better... others I have urged myself to let go... but always I am a different person by the expereince.
all that matters is that there is an expansion... a betterment... a resutl that shows it was responsible for future time.
Stirring up ideas, eventually creates a sort of shift...
A Paradigm shift.
...but I never assume that my interpretation of the shift is that actual purpose, or the reality.
Time and space, and exploration and testing....
I have seen that these are the routes that help me see the procession towards future goals.
As I have explained before, often such phenomenon has lead me forward, and I have seen complete
changes beyond co-incidence... or been drawn towards a certain process that
eventually processes itself...
When I look back and see that the invisible required my
co-operation... or such processes would never have occurred, I get grateful that I embraced the process this way.
anyway.
It is, for me a very similar energy to creating a painting, writing a song... singing a
certain way... same flow... same as hands on...
The written word is only part of the process... what I expereince while it flows through sort of helps me gauge my effectiveness in honoring it.
Lot's of time and testing has brought me this far.
but it's all still a process.
Separate from results I might actually wish or hope for... in myself and others.
If it's just me giving speeches... then i would rather quit.
If it is just me in delusion, then I would rather quit... and just work in a garden.
Instead, over time I have heard feedback that leads me to suggest to myself that there is a purpose to this.
the same kind of feedback keeps me painting, keeps me singing, keeps me writing songs... keeps me creating video for tv- film... some future release.
All just a different routes to similar outcomes... all sponsored by similar use of the machinery of the brain and our intuitive nature...
In any case.
I have been sort of tossing you some stuff that I know would hit the
"resistance factor" .
Not intending harm... But knowing that the vibration between ideas, beliefs, expectations, expereince will create a sort of shake-up... like tossing wheat up into the wind, in hopes of separating the wheat from the chaff... the meaningful from the obsolete.
Realizing that it would bounce up against your
internal doubts... might seem a little cruel.
But I know you beyond the limitations you suggest you are working your way through. I know that the strong part of you will sift wisely. I just hope you do not take the ideas that come as a personal attack.
I love you beyond what any of this means.
Any of it.
Yet I have to acknowledge that you never asked for this.
I am not sure you would want me this deep in your process.
What I have seen, known and understood about my own process of refinement- re-findment, is that I tned to fight the process I am in, when I am in it... at certain stages... I call this fight the origin of dis-ease. At least for me, this is so.
It showcases my "resistance factors".
Every healer knows that there are essential components for true healing.
Most importantly, belief that healing is possible, managing the balance through-out the whole process... and showcasing the capacity to sustain new platforms... to sustain the healing as it fiinds us... and it always finds us right where we are waiting for it... slowing alignment with false identities, false expectations, false interpretations... so that a foothold for new growth and expansion take a deeper hold and furthe expands to replace the false with a more pure identity.
Many years of practise have relevealed this to me... but... it is also true that this is simply my route.
Dealing directly with finding the resistance and dancing with it... as friend.
Outdated though it may be, it showcases areas to explore, greet... and then release for a higher good.
So... in summary, the underlying causes get discovered beneath the discomforts... and the
only way I have ever been able to see deeper in my own process was to allow
my brain to have free reign... and in some cases it was as if I felt aligned with a side of my self that was like an unbridled
raging idiot, perhaps what i was afraid that I might have become.
A more tender, gentle side of me was just beneath this... and the "release" of the masked overlay helped me reveal portions of the puzzle.
Reasons why fear had caused me to accept an imposter identity ... sometimes not realizing the reality would be witing for me to recover what was lost later.
Rather than curse this, I have come to understand that all are footseps to the present moemnt... all steps necessary... and understanding that grace caused me to grow and see the idfference I can make TODAY.
And to what degree the present moment can reveal a pathway, I have learned to accept.
Luckily I was smart enough to process these things in private...
That's what I mean about the "luxury" of internal investigation.
Not many people, in our modern world ever have the chance, or the tools,
or the opportunities to get a good look inside themselves... or to experience (by doing so) that a realm of self exists beyond personality or past choices.
In your case, I already know YOU know yourself...
but just becasue i say this, does not mean that you know that YOU know yourself as who you are...
Most expereince their internal beuaty expressed, without realizing it is evidence of soul.
Lately your letters have pointed to your current processes through which you are in process of refinding pathwasy towards points of a refinement necessary...
These are for you to recognise... and indeed only you can know what you see.
This is where I differ from other "so called" healers.
I no longer believe that anyone outside of us can fully know where we need to go. Our soul knows... and others can reflect... but the identity we bring is ours alone and th epurpose is divine. No commentary process from the outside of us can do good beyond a certain point.
A guide is only a guide.
The journey is ours.... and it is sacred.
all outside reflectors can become tools for our own resolution... but it is up to us to pick and choose... and we always do... we always do.
Best to refine, and then expedite, but also to test... and then to allow the useless to drop away, or to be put on hold while find a truer context for the tools.
We all have to do our own process... No ONE can do our process for us... and this is always so... whether we consciously step in and take hold of portions to expand intentionally or do so on "automatic pilot" it is always our own responsibility.
Sometimes, when the going gets rough on my path, I admit that hate knowing this...
And , at those times I have hated my own process, which was/is fair under the pain of the strain involved...
It never mattered...
the process waited for me to re-embrace it... and forward motion happened in it's own way, anyway.
So... I realized I had to love the pain and the strain, for waht it showed me... but not for it's harsh revelations.
either way... all the good came when I embraced it...
and I got grateful I survived the doubts, the fears... the limiters... to see my true unlimited foundations.
same as yours.
unlimited beneath all this process.
I guess that means I allowed myself to see that I was hating my life during those times.
But I would not be in one piece today if that's as far as it ever went.
Such relaities are as they are, and only become known when they ARE. It's how we respond to the reality that such could be possible... that makes the difference...
How we use it.
Anyway.
I dont' suggest that any of this could be useful for you. Right now it's for you to choose what's useful. All around you, you have signals only you can see... meanings and symbols and reflectors in your life near and far... what they represent is encoded, like a code only your soul can recognise.
All I suggest is that you embrace the obvious...
but I apologize for how this sounds... because i already know...That's just me.
I used to think a similar process was necessary for all humans...
But I got straightened out, regarding this assumption, these past few years.
Every person unique... every soul uniQue... every process unique...
...and all of it sacred, no matter how it turns out.
Meanwhile, we can help each other....
And the only way, it seems to me... is loving each other beyond what we each go through.
.......
In regards to my own physical, and ongoing healing (yes, we either are getting born each second or busy dying), the methods I have used have been ones that first stabilized various
conditions thorugh intense herbal remedies... you name it, I have used
them.
I discovered that If I can accomplish a stabilization... which means less pain, physically, evidenced also through a better mind
set... with less resistance... (by the way, physical pain that continues is , in my interpretation expression of resistance... lack of flow).
Then I next go to the emotional processes... I do a review and a series of
straight talks soul to soul with myself... Examining the Beliefs that brought me to where I was in such pain.
Some of the masks I have put on and taken off through these sessions would
have completely terrified anyone close to me. So I learned to be grateful for the distance folks took to me while i was in this process.... I learned it was all mercy.
I guess that's why I no longer curse the times I was solo at those times in my life...
Looking back on those processes, I wouldn't advise anyone doing anything
close to them without a therapist. But the choice in so called therapist is a very vital one. Few so called therapists can truly deal with illusions and pharmaceuticals only mask the routes.
But then again...
I know of know school of therapy that covers the ground I covered in
relation to myself-soul...
Which lead me to study so many routes I can't count them... and in each school of thought there are expnents who healed deeper than can be imagined...
Again showcasing how the resistance factors, if dropped away... or any route, can be sacred when it's time has come ... and how sacred for the unique healing for that unique soul.
Finding a so called practitiner or healer thourhg seminars or workshops can be useful for the practise... But I learned to pick and chyoose what felt right for me at the time... and the most sacred journeys came start to finish through the invisible... that was in my case.... Still, I haven't met a practitioner who hasn't gotten lost in details of certain kinds of
scenarios. No phd or medical school can prepare a person for the deeper work... the best get themselves close enough to the work to let it happen... get out of it's way.
As we all know, it used to be against the rules of hospitals and other institutions to even have preachers ome in and do hands-on work...nowadays it's even part of what most hospitals encourage. showcasing that they recognise the receptivity to healing can be enhanced through prayer and other practises, even if they call the practitioners quacks.
In my own case,
I don't go by what the various age old scholars interpreted from their
similar journeys...
Since I have found that their process was unique and not a guaranteed route.
If a person ssumes the trust factor and release through faith to a certain style, seems to me it will always work.
But may not wo0rk because of the actual process, but because of the receptivity and trust.
Which, as we have seen, has been proven time and again through placebos.
Belief and trust seem to be the main compnenet for sustained healing.
so... even though I haven't tried to explain my speicfic processes, I can still
say that I am very amazed that I got through them.
Yet I do not assume they could ever work for others or even be taught.
Someday I hope to find out...
But with many disclaimers.
And never as a rejection of so called western medicine.
It seems that combinations of strategies can sustain a process until it refines and takes hold.
Buyin time is a real option.
And worth the wait.
........
As far as herbal remedies go...
If I needed to know something, I would pray to know it... offer the right query as best I coudl refine it... and soon a practitioner who had studied a solution for that process, that step...would walk across my path
and describe it...
Other times, through prayer, I would find myslef walking through a section of a bookstore that covered styles of practice... and a book glowed and I would take it off the shelf and open
to the right page.
Just becasue I have stories and objective witnesses to this process....
E-mails and letters, or voicemails before and after... showcasing these "miracles"... and the herbal and the massage and the other practises, does not mean that any of this is ultimate, or that it would work again for others, or even that it worked for me.
Unless... yes... unless I could show to myslef via long term results and reflectors in my world/life... that a difference in process ahd truly emerged.
Meanwhile... all I know is that certain symptoms that were so severe I could barely function,
Seem to have subsided.
And I soon discovered that when this was the case, I had to , at some point stop examining the results and trust that they had found a home.
And yes, it is also true that I allowed myself to consider that perhaps...
I just raised my thresh hold for pain.
From inside a process, it's truly hard to know.
And time... space... testing... and self discovery can reveal , to a degree, present reality.
.......
So , I developed methods for testing my process, and progress...
If it matters, I can go into detail, some other letter...
.....
Back to the range of remedy.
for example;
For about 6 years of my recent life, I would drink about quart of fresh
wheatgrass juice a week.
sometimes a pint a day...
Because I had studied how closely fresh wheatgrass juice is similar to Hemoglobin. The essential minerals, vitality of "plant blood" also easily assimilated and easily refreshing healthy cells.
Purification of the blood... taking time to rest the digestive system...gaining time to see whcih parts of my physical system could utilize the pure food of wheatgrass...
Saved my life then... just long enough to figure out how to deal with other causes for the physical pain of those days.
While at the same time taking massive doses of of a certain herbal remedy suggested by an herbal shaman in the southwest. A remedy that is proven to kill the liver, if taken wrongly or in too large doses.
Yet, my symptoms were so severe I had to do this... and I took the other portions of supplements designed to safegurad the liver simultaneously.
As you know, I have had a diminished liver function due to sankebite at age 14, so... I knew that I was in a modality that was "no messing around".
There I was doing all these
massive doses of what is basically chemo.
anyway.
That was then.
I must have found the right balance points.
Most of the time, I do not have the pain or the tumour like lumps, or the
discomforts...
I found I have had to balance my life in all it's facets, in order to go for long stretches,
not falling back into the same throws of death...
I have had a cable access tv show for close to 15 years.
I have the video from these various stages. Anyone who wants to see the stages in my physical form can see that this is no joke. I just looked at some footage from the time I now speak of... and see the sparkle in my eyes then , almost gone... lights were going out. enough said.
People see me now, and their jaw drops.
If they knew me during one of these severe times, then hardly recognise me
now. Soem say I have de-aged... some ask me over and agin if it is really me... they can't seem to reconcile the difference.
Because of the severity of some of the processes I (guess) survived... ,
I often reflected to people around me that those times back then were peak times... many
folks didn't realize I felt I was doing everything I was doing for the LAST
time...
I made my intent count... I made my actions count...
They realized they were getting far more "bang for their
buck" when I worked with them on anything. And they used what I offered for all it was worth...
Huge projects, lots of money, fame, happened FOR THEM... all that stuff sprang out of the
projects I worked on... in some cases, they actually stole the shares they could have given me...
Mostly I was working on trust...
but I also never recognised that I might actually live long enough for any share of the outcomes (my shares) to make a difference.
Being healed is one thing... healed and broke another.
Yet...
Actually, most cases, I didn't expect to be around for the
harvest... and actually left myself out of that part...
It's a pecualiar thing...
Big mountains got moved.
Projects and ideas went world wide...
Here I am, and still not much of my own creative expression has
gotten to it's true audeince...
Barely the money to be able to even eat.
anyway...
sort of showcases my lack of gratitude...
Because... rather than being dead, I am alive...
And it seems like I still can do whatever I choose with my own intellectual
property...
and so... I see the perfect route for additional soul healing,
through soul expression...
Also through honoring the physical needs of the future, which only love expressed through money can sustain.
appplying the same 11th hour attitude to everything...
Enveloping life's equations with Soul Purpose... caring about intention...
These are essential to true deeper ehaling.
A purpose for living, how to use any estra time.
Otherwise, for me... life is useless if I am only going to consume... fart and take up other people's time.
Creating what will expand as benefit for whole groups of
people, not just myself....
Has become essential to life's purpose.
Has merged me to my spiritual path.
Not leaving myself out. The only part I left out... now becoming as essential as what I intend for others.
The resistance factor is always my first friend on the path to getting
closer to being fully healed.
the resistance factor shows me my spiritual need.
by introducing me first to my rage and doubt and disbelief.
It's never been a barrier...
Instead...
it has always been the gate.
-toe
ToeKneeStanger.com
"...another interesting test adventure into the ART of the magic of
intention.... while maintaining relaxed-rocky-steady- balance .... inside
the wild rides on the WAVE of this ocean called LIFE in the so-called
'material' plane" - toe knee
"ARTintoLIFE is LIFEintoART" ... yeah!
www.ARTintoLIFE.com
http://www.zazzle.com/toekneestanger*
posted by Toe Knee at 3:14 PM
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