Mixed Realities
The ToeKnee Show: The ToeKnee ShowLiving the life of the Hey Dey Hoo doo... the HayDay Who Do....
As if those words mean anything...
God... why do I love to toss a few curve balls first...
I'll tell you why ... to see how quickly you get ready to jump ship... or flinch.
Check your fears at the door...
Mixed Realities.
I get accused of being different.
30 years of creative living ...
and the largest saacrifice of living it unfunded
is hearing , around every corner another stilted human,
at the mercy of machines saying I'm just another artist, crazy...
... these things... pointing at me, as if this creative style is a disease.
When the heart connections go so deep, inside me... inside this I watch them with their leashes.
....to see their eyes half shut, zombie style...
and to hear the cold ... to hear the abrupt tones...
And know I can't drive my car on that road...
for long...
I can't make those kinds of appontments for too long while the beauty of nature and our world still cries.
Getting my attention,
I hear a Goddess friend edgy to put across such wasted ideas like a stream of words,
...about the separations between us,
rather than the unifiers that still bind us.
All these years of journeying because it's the Shaman Warriors Journey,
I learned over and over I had no chooice... it was destiny.
...not because of fear or failure... or any other reason except Learning ...
gradually seeing myself surrenduring to this path
...It is...
what it is...
...
and nothing more.
nothing more ... except Necessary...
choice stopped having a say 15 surrenders ago.
Waking up as if on an old battlefield kneeling... weeping and waiitng for that last arrow that never came.
realizing that I somehow won...
again...
UnfuckingBelievable.
then making whatever I can out of the walk through the disaster still smoldering.
Now that I stopped cursing the blind...
Why do I have to be lumped in with all those other dead and dying still slingin to their swords?
....losers who claimed it, and lived it just as a lazy man/woman's excuse.... a thousand miles away from their truer fruition?
Since I have been here on this road trip through Sweeden, I have written close to 50 new lyrics for great songs.
I've been re-mastering my performances and recordings from 1982 forward... one at a time...
and for some, singing new lead vocals ...
I have 4 one hour mini-documentaries in process,
.. all footage from recent tv shows combined for release via the web... and DVD in tandem with performances.
And right now, while writing this, I am studying an album I wrote and produced 2002-2003
It's called Mysterious Stranger. REalizing 80% is ready for the world.
20% would pull the rug out.
so... I just yanked those songs.
now.. I get to decide whether I instead use these songs to finish another record in process.
'Blood From Turnips"
It's one of 9 that I have on the launch pad,
I am critiquing and re-ordering the songs... seleting a few and testng the rest.
Along with all this, I am fixing the bathroom...
...mowing the lawn,
and trimming the trees...
But, right now,
if I were to pay attention to the fear around me coming from those
.....who call themselves my close friends... I'd be in a looney bin.
so... as soon as I can afford to cut ties, they will all be getting traded out.
-transferred to a further distance from me.
I'm searching for another Ashram where I can live by working in a kitchen and a garden next to natural women and friends.
....or a friend's art studio floor wheere I can sleep,
....while I build a barn to my personal taste out of scrap wood.
The only way out of this skeptic's world ...
... that has nearly invaded all my near world..
.... is to switch change myself or it...
...or convert it.
.....the easiset
... and fastest way to convert it,
... is to teach it a lesson
...by proving it wrong.
so...
I'm jump starting each and every project I can get my hands on...
...today I called the past. Just to be sure I am still here.
....14 years ago I was in need of the healing life force of the goddess.
One perky nippled beauty with the biggest heart I have ever seen,
.... walked into my world and I couldn't help it...
....I had to give her 200 hundred orgasms...
....she brought the best out of me.
..while I studied it and took it down the road to explode a few more.
Madam E
...said it was because of me.
Nah... madam E
if anything it was you and me
Madam E
I guess I shouldn't have praised you to my divorced wife.
Maybe I wouldn't have been put on all these crosses 2000 miles away.
Being burned from the bottom up... sliced and diced ...
in her dreams.
I'd have succumbed to her screams if it hadn't been for you.
Madam E.
Great to hear you laugh Madam E.
Laughing and remembering...
Well that could be some other day.
When you are alone and safe...
...for a week or whatever it takes,
Maybe rocking in a chair in old age...
You get to weep the same tears you wept for joy when we shared the bed for hours.
And you will see yourself reflected in the pool that I already cried;
the ocean that would never seem to subside...
while I lived on the mountain out in the back of your house.
MadamE.
I had to get ready for you back then.
I had to get that Goddess praise.
I get to be the one who carries it CURRENT
... like a stream of fire and beauty.
And I get to remember how well
I did the shamanWarriors duty.
It's more than 6,000 breakfasts
since I got to see your eyes light up,
and hear you cooing in bed
while I take you across another stretch.
It wasn't against you...
But I could never be another one of societies' good dogs and fetch...
I found a few gates...
Fell to my knees to wretch...
And soon discovered that doing what I could,
not to die without you,
was my full time job.
Until I died anyway... then I got to rebirth me,
grab me up and bring me along 10 years later...
just tto call and comapre our voices.
... and see we need a translator.
...nothing other than that with me now... keeping me strong,
and, yeah, while I dust mysel foff... a little empty.
...while I climb down this tree...
and just letting you be... Madam E
And for the rest of the alphabet... they'll just have to wait a few more days
as I get the calls and letters squared away,
and count just how long this one stays...
Let's get this little ball of a world back to being great big and round.
And let's hear yer heart pound
... while this tcircle of life circles both you and me
madam E
..........
epilogue
....this just happened today.
I called madam E. today.
And she says... wow .. I just thought of you... this is so strange.
Not for me... it's not.
Yesterday she took down my painting.
Frst call in 10 years ... first conversation...in ten years.
"Toe Knee... I just thought about you"
Nothing strange at all... madam E.
My paintings are connected to me.
And... yes... it's ok to pack that beautiful one
into your attic.
In fact.
Let's team up and sell it.
but let's share the profit.
I need to make a downpayment on the coporate jet.
............
Do you know I coulda gotten a million doallars for such a call?
There's a foundation called Sketics America or some such.
They have a standing invitation for anyone who can prove so called "6th sense--- esp" - is real.
A million bucks.
I made and lost a million bucks today.
Easy.
As if those words mean anything...
God... why do I love to toss a few curve balls first...
I'll tell you why ... to see how quickly you get ready to jump ship... or flinch.
Check your fears at the door...
Mixed Realities.
I get accused of being different.
30 years of creative living ...
and the largest saacrifice of living it unfunded
is hearing , around every corner another stilted human,
at the mercy of machines saying I'm just another artist, crazy...
... these things... pointing at me, as if this creative style is a disease.
When the heart connections go so deep, inside me... inside this I watch them with their leashes.
....to see their eyes half shut, zombie style...
and to hear the cold ... to hear the abrupt tones...
And know I can't drive my car on that road...
for long...
I can't make those kinds of appontments for too long while the beauty of nature and our world still cries.
Getting my attention,
I hear a Goddess friend edgy to put across such wasted ideas like a stream of words,
...about the separations between us,
rather than the unifiers that still bind us.
All these years of journeying because it's the Shaman Warriors Journey,
I learned over and over I had no chooice... it was destiny.
...not because of fear or failure... or any other reason except Learning ...
gradually seeing myself surrenduring to this path
...It is...
what it is...
...
and nothing more.
nothing more ... except Necessary...
choice stopped having a say 15 surrenders ago.
Waking up as if on an old battlefield kneeling... weeping and waiitng for that last arrow that never came.
realizing that I somehow won...
again...
UnfuckingBelievable.
then making whatever I can out of the walk through the disaster still smoldering.
Now that I stopped cursing the blind...
Why do I have to be lumped in with all those other dead and dying still slingin to their swords?
....losers who claimed it, and lived it just as a lazy man/woman's excuse.... a thousand miles away from their truer fruition?
Since I have been here on this road trip through Sweeden, I have written close to 50 new lyrics for great songs.
I've been re-mastering my performances and recordings from 1982 forward... one at a time...
and for some, singing new lead vocals ...
I have 4 one hour mini-documentaries in process,
.. all footage from recent tv shows combined for release via the web... and DVD in tandem with performances.
And right now, while writing this, I am studying an album I wrote and produced 2002-2003
It's called Mysterious Stranger. REalizing 80% is ready for the world.
20% would pull the rug out.
so... I just yanked those songs.
now.. I get to decide whether I instead use these songs to finish another record in process.
'Blood From Turnips"
It's one of 9 that I have on the launch pad,
I am critiquing and re-ordering the songs... seleting a few and testng the rest.
Along with all this, I am fixing the bathroom...
...mowing the lawn,
and trimming the trees...
But, right now,
if I were to pay attention to the fear around me coming from those
.....who call themselves my close friends... I'd be in a looney bin.
so... as soon as I can afford to cut ties, they will all be getting traded out.
-transferred to a further distance from me.
I'm searching for another Ashram where I can live by working in a kitchen and a garden next to natural women and friends.
....or a friend's art studio floor wheere I can sleep,
....while I build a barn to my personal taste out of scrap wood.
The only way out of this skeptic's world ...
... that has nearly invaded all my near world..
.... is to switch change myself or it...
...or convert it.
.....the easiset
... and fastest way to convert it,
... is to teach it a lesson
...by proving it wrong.
so...
I'm jump starting each and every project I can get my hands on...
...today I called the past. Just to be sure I am still here.
....14 years ago I was in need of the healing life force of the goddess.
One perky nippled beauty with the biggest heart I have ever seen,
.... walked into my world and I couldn't help it...
....I had to give her 200 hundred orgasms...
....she brought the best out of me.
..while I studied it and took it down the road to explode a few more.
Madam E
...said it was because of me.
Nah... madam E
if anything it was you and me
Madam E
I guess I shouldn't have praised you to my divorced wife.
Maybe I wouldn't have been put on all these crosses 2000 miles away.
Being burned from the bottom up... sliced and diced ...
in her dreams.
I'd have succumbed to her screams if it hadn't been for you.
Madam E.
Great to hear you laugh Madam E.
Laughing and remembering...
Well that could be some other day.
When you are alone and safe...
...for a week or whatever it takes,
Maybe rocking in a chair in old age...
You get to weep the same tears you wept for joy when we shared the bed for hours.
And you will see yourself reflected in the pool that I already cried;
the ocean that would never seem to subside...
while I lived on the mountain out in the back of your house.
MadamE.
I had to get ready for you back then.
I had to get that Goddess praise.
I get to be the one who carries it CURRENT
... like a stream of fire and beauty.
And I get to remember how well
I did the shamanWarriors duty.
It's more than 6,000 breakfasts
since I got to see your eyes light up,
and hear you cooing in bed
while I take you across another stretch.
It wasn't against you...
But I could never be another one of societies' good dogs and fetch...
I found a few gates...
Fell to my knees to wretch...
And soon discovered that doing what I could,
not to die without you,
was my full time job.
Until I died anyway... then I got to rebirth me,
grab me up and bring me along 10 years later...
just tto call and comapre our voices.
... and see we need a translator.
...nothing other than that with me now... keeping me strong,
and, yeah, while I dust mysel foff... a little empty.
...while I climb down this tree...
and just letting you be... Madam E
And for the rest of the alphabet... they'll just have to wait a few more days
as I get the calls and letters squared away,
and count just how long this one stays...
Let's get this little ball of a world back to being great big and round.
And let's hear yer heart pound
... while this tcircle of life circles both you and me
madam E
..........
epilogue
....this just happened today.
I called madam E. today.
And she says... wow .. I just thought of you... this is so strange.
Not for me... it's not.
Yesterday she took down my painting.
Frst call in 10 years ... first conversation...in ten years.
"Toe Knee... I just thought about you"
Nothing strange at all... madam E.
My paintings are connected to me.
And... yes... it's ok to pack that beautiful one
into your attic.
In fact.
Let's team up and sell it.
but let's share the profit.
I need to make a downpayment on the coporate jet.
............
Do you know I coulda gotten a million doallars for such a call?
There's a foundation called Sketics America or some such.
They have a standing invitation for anyone who can prove so called "6th sense--- esp" - is real.
A million bucks.
I made and lost a million bucks today.
Easy.
posted by Toe Knee at 2:22 AM
1 comments
