Right here, right now

Skyline Deva. this image is a collaborative image in process. Three participants. c.05,bgk/tks/belinda. The photograph of belinda happened while on an Art Academy of Cincinnati outing in DC or NY... can't remember. She and I communed in a space, and I felt privileged to allow my camera to acquire the proof it happened. Look at her face, in the second year 1975-6, she seems so pure, and so open and so present... there seems to be a Holiness about her, and she is happy to be inside that moment in this way with me. I bet my face/presence was simlar... because these moments are always reflected in some way.... I wonder if I allowed her to see what I felt then? We were riding a bus to somewhere and the space was light.

This moment taught me/us ...all moments can teach me/us. We can seek them out by offering them from our presence, and once in awhile, people are ready to share them this openly... and we each get recharged and we all do it.

I like the concept that we can initiate moments like this.... but I prefer the word seek. Seek and you shall find. What a premise. As I see it, you seeit, we all see it and seek it more from inside, to become avilable to a moment of life like this, in a steady, balanced way... now that is art ... and each time it is an oasis.

Little babies sparkle in this way. It feeds everybody who shares it with them.
It also makes you see the potential for all directions it might go, as it grows.


... it shifted me to hold this photo, after having it packed away for almost 30 years. I time traveled back, in thought, chose her then and fell in love all in 5 seconds in 2005. My next wave of thoughts was getting married and then having 5 kids, and seeing them all through college. that took 10 seconds. I kept looking. I did not get lost in wondering why I may have hid my side of the reflection back then. and then, believe it or now, I decided to allow myself to carry the thought dream further... I decided to see those next 10 seconds through. I saw, in my heart, that it could have been... yeah, it could have been, and of course from that view my life worked out different. And then I wondered, I wondered of the perception of loss- gai, cost of what ti took to be the route I took would remove this dream.... and I wondered if I was going to weep becasue it wasn't.

But as you can see, and bear witness, it still is.

...the best part? It's only this, all the same moments... still shared but blended through reflected others. ... it's all moments like thise, between univrses of alternate world they become... the destiny obliterated by a certain shift...choice.

the even better part?

I grew in the right way, to be able to see it (still ) , and larger in potential... now.

....and, then I realized that life provides this every step we take. what else is there?

.....so, on one hand, there is all this grace in between the challenges and the successes.

Like butterflies caught and released and then honored in memory.

I promise I will fix all the spelling errors in this Blog.

and on the other hand, the moment never changed. just a matter of light shifted and reflection, and zoom.

I have some paintings to do while you all visit this place and if you respond to any of these 250 or more entries (offerings) of thought, then feel free to know the comments are forwarded directly to my e-mail and I will soak them in as this same kind of moment.
.............................................

In this past 30 days, since I started to honor these moments shared, through this blog.... I have only mirrored a steady reality for the time we parted. No matter the person, especially the more you feel un presented, the reality is, that is just as significant as the ones highlighted... because, to me, in my realityfolks who have known me all these years, the know me , and in most cases i have used this moment internal to reach them right here ... instant. If that's all I had, doesn't it seem most practical? From here, I sensed we held each otherlike butterlies, like devas, like buddhas, and the proof is in the connections you are all saluting, sending and the networking as well as the wash of freedom from the past by seeing the timeless it refelcts in the now. granted, this is austere, for me. it's a practice. i say practice makes progress... but progress does not make perfect. Lot's of switchback flaws when you hit up against somethig you wish you could change, that steals the beauty of this expansion. and, like any good thing... once you know you are holding it, it can be like a tightrope walk with a gust of wind. the bak and forth of these shifts shows the distance and shines a light on the holes in the trail. You can't help noticing the work still left to do. it's never fine to leave anyone and you know it... I know it... yet we need to go towards our potential.

So maybe it's about getting more adept at reshifting the focal points of this equation. Love the one you are with... sometimes, I admit this was impossible. the fact of love brought back the pain that love began. as soon aas you know it's yours, you can almost sence the door opened and it flew out the window.
.... and is it really so bad, to notice that the dream includes a wash of beaut almost imposssible to bear.?

I had this dream once, where the energy shifted and I knew instinctively
that the way to snap out of it was to open my eyes. but it felt so great to keep them closed, I was reluctant to lose this equation. the relationship of it to me. but I knew it would burn my circuits and shere survival would take over. so it did.... I felt I instinctively also knew that we are given a way to visually understand the process of objective observation... so that we can piece the trail back together and ride the idea of it back home like a wave.

You can cause it to arrive out of you... by co-operation with it... but then the big learning is in the holding and the release.... not necearily in the having or sustaining.

So, I devised a plan to hold the ideal longer, just a little longer each time and focus off of the have part. but then there is the time of tempation... the desire to know every angle of why it feels so great to be immersed fully.

...shines a light on past failure, doesn't it? Revealing the true growth in relation to it. How can you treat it as a success either, when you defocus your attention, you somewhat notice that even the hole you sunk into, has some beuty to it.

Life is a success waiting to happen.

don't worry.... I say to my mind... it's not supposed to make sense.
any pea shooter could blow holes a mile wide in any of this.
but you can't blow a hole in the look on belinda's face.
try it and see. it will capture the part that already holds it, just by seeing it.

A success when you now see it new.
The work you each are doing, ain't work at all... that's the signal. i wish I had known that's few and far between.

Most of us, who have lost a few.... or held then arrive empty...
or held to long and faound death building, not life.

we seem to misbelieve for awhile. the tragedy is to see that yu WERE blind... sort of knew it, but claimed it didn't matter.

oh well... that's called making mistakes. but hell on theperson, if it is the other one who nsists that illusionis the truer reality.;

ouch.
at that point, I re-arrived and knew it ws training day all over again.

Let's all create beauty true that lasts. Hearing from you has shown me these moments of our illusory past and showcased the moments that last forever. And it's helped me back up to a safer position to punt. we always do better with a cheer or a raor of approval.

the Stang is getting up off the canvas again.

Holy Moly. this kid won't stay dwn. Let's just shift our tactics and reward him instead of building any more bric walls. that's what he's doing. Looks like a path .... amazing , it works for us to.

the holy angel Surprise Rescue Mission team is beaming us on home now...

....... these days are helping me to see I was always where I was, and here i am where you always were.

I knew when i saw you it would be this way. so there.

No wonder I am still in the same place. We hold each other in these kinds of reflections.

about the construction of this image: thank you Elk Rider!
He combined two of my images to make this one. I suggested a premise and he revfined that, and I lofe it... not only that, but this will be finished out as apinting soon... a huge one.... and some small ones as tests to do the huge one.


The mountains are one of my vistas from a "sacred spot" up on skyline. my vista ride up on Skyline boulevard, in the hills around the Bay area.
I go there to get re-balanced and listen to nature's quiet rustle and the air beneath the hawk wings.... and the leap of the bull deer. I watch a ground hog entertain me 3 feet away, and I laugh again. sometimes I cry it all out again. when a few, or 10 hours have passed, I feel ready to walk back to the art truck and feel improved. I saw some things I could change inside and nature helped me shfit a little towards that in a graceful way. It's not for everybody and may sound fanatical or weirdo or just plain crazy. It takes these kinds of separations from all but Mother Nature, for me to keep headed where I am eheaded. I tried everything else, and maybe this is only for a time.... the shared Blog is my way of reminding myself that it's never a solo journey.

In a sense, I feel I have an obligation to honor these kinds of moments, because you all have encouraged me so much. And I haven't even uploaded 1% of waht's coming in the next 3 months here. this is a book and the writings are going to be edited, and refined as poems/stories accompanying the images. In many cases, there is an original song that goes with a series of paintings all recorded/written and performed i the same time frame as the paintings were created.

I love the idea that I get to give back to you (most of you) a symbolic honoring of what wae stillshare, though miles apart.

and to the ones who lived inside the moments with me while I painted , we did it all together. it looked solofrom your side, but I felt you in my heart from time to time, and it was these moments we nurtured. . just as fresh as 28 years ago, or yesterday.

yeah.

and I know you have it right there, where you are

............ right now.