The Toe Knee Show, Grateful Dead Editing Suite, Palo Alto Access Cable circa 96. It was feeling difficult to gather the "troops", and build community TV... at least for me. Though I had "moral support" from Annie and others at the station, I was feeling hood-winked by the glass ceilings that go with power. Didn't matter to me... I went forward anyway. Still do. The Executive Director then was/is like any executive director I meet now... they soon understand that my drive, talent and passion far exceeds their own... you'd better believe the ALWAYS ruffles feathers of folks who do community service while drawing a paycheck. Sound like sour grapes? Nah. that guy is a friend of mine now. when he pulled his stunts on me, he was just envious of a life pursuit/dream he'd never fulfilled. He's the chief exec producer, with in house funding now. So he's happy. I noticed how he kept trying to convince me that nothing could be launched through cable access... yeah, right. Talent coming through my show is featured at Sundance this year, Folks I filmed and mentored ended up in Disney movies... signed to major record deals... Some had my permission to use my work as their demo tapes, others thought they had to steal and not ask. Nevermind. the work still got done, still does. I heard the local cable station lost a million dollars in the stock market. I never/still don't get a dime for what I produce... it's been out of pocket. 10 years, and even better now... far more heart. If you gain your styloe through the living of true life, be ready to see that some folks want to see it on paper first, and in dollar signs or they'd rather not let you in.... so it goes. So, I built my big launches through mentoring to others who took it across the finish line. the biggest one is as good/more than 20 of the top ten indy hits... and my name isn't to be found on it... but the ideas and intent and follow through are all my signiture and the ones who need to know, know.... these words here sound like bragging or pity parade to some. that's your reflector. If you want to find my barometer for how well this works, then see the local shoe repair guy singing opera mid-day (toe show 98), see the all girl band Pele Ju Ju bringing packed audiences to tears while pleaing with us all to honor mother earth (96-99 toe sho), or show up sometime and watch me walk through police in riot gear, to help them settle a crowd.... no protection, no vests.... or wait till you see the McBay evidence tape released soon.... or listen to the interviews compiled backstages all over this area of many, many bands that are still rising to the top. Here's what happens if you pitch in with cable access in your area; you get to develop your sixth sense about who wants to/means it when they are trying to shift us all in a better direction. I rarely agree with all the opinions I film. Nor do I always like the music. I love the passion of the people and th eway they put life energy/live their beliefs. So, I've gone to folks in ways/at times that puts me on the docket for survelliance. Yes I do. I love my private life, I have no axes to girnd... but long before the 9/11 thng happened, I had already walked into those realms by filming folks who stood along side of Cesar Chavez, and for Indian Rights. The reason? Well... get this; ART into LIFE. My parents had passed away in 94-95. I was in relative shock.... they went so fast. After a life of trying to measure up to their standars, I decided to dig in deeper and do real honor to their memory. I inherited a small amount of cash.... I threw it all into Cable Access TV show featuyring people who may never get known or seen otherwise. I got really good at picking the folks who really meant it, whatever their path was, the ones who measured up to the same sacrifices my parents made living on this planet. Whether anyone out there gets this or not, I still move forward with it. If you can help a person fulfill their potential in these ways, you can also move thme to their real audience/s. And once that occurs, the folks they affect hear to heart can change our future for the better. That activist guy I interviewed over and over, well he paid th eprice of losing his family to a hate-crime a fire bomb. when I looked him in the eyes in my first interview in 95, I was asking him about the stamina it took for him to drop all weapons and become a poet for peace. He never cried, he never begged for a voice. He spoke his truth then, the same way it appears in the new documentary. He's not chasing after an enemy... he's facing the enemy in his own heart... and he, like me, knows that this is a life long challenge. It's what you do with it that counts. Are you headed in the direction that brings your beauty for us all to see? One exceelent art work moves more mountains than a hundred thousand peace marchers. It's already been proven... long, long ago. Guernica.