Photo taken during my final days at the Aha! center. Here I am with "Blue Indian" in the background. This pain I have in my heart, that you see inside the smile, is for the future. It's a crazy pain, I admit. This photo was being taken by the mother of one of the kid's I mentored to last year. I had been told that folks were believing in that kid... that they were looking towards his potential and they were , in theory shielding him "just enough" from the harsh realities of the life he was testing himself towards living... In a sense, he was one of those cliff's edge walkers... but not very careful, and thinking he would live forever... the same old youthful rebellion we alll have had, except off the charts... he seemed to be scaring a lot of people... especially him mom. Anyway, I'd heard someone I formerly respected around here label that kid, and it rightly pissed me off... All I wanted to know is this; that they would allow me to mentor to the kid and they'd give me enough time to help that kid see the potential I knew he had... So, a week or so went by after I requested those safety factors in this declaration, "Just don't yank him out of his life and send him away, until I have a chance to see what I can do". .......... I spent a couple of days total with the kid... I want to leave his name out of this... all you need to know is this; He and I hiked in nature and I taught him how to use his new digital camera, we spent a total of 4 and a half hours one-on-one, and during that whole time, my angels kicked in and I found myself having to talk to him about many things that applied to his situation. Especially the topic about what would happen if they sent him away again. I felt this topic was a crazy topic, becuase it did not apply to him. I had been assured they were going to give me a chance to reach him. Let's just say this; I packed 6 months of mentoring into that one day, and 2 weeks later, they yanked him out of his safe place in his home, and they shipped him aaway 2000 miles away. all of a sudden things made sense. all those words, all those symbols and all those stories to reach that kid...and they yanked him away ... sent him off ... they guys in the white coats came for him at 4am. ...............You had better believe I got in the face of the person here at Aha! who had assured me he wouldn't advise th emother to do that, unless he told me first... he had told me I'd have a say in actions like that... yet he did it/they did it anyway. So, I got in that guys face here at Aha... and I told him I was feeling he needed his ass kicked for labeling that kid as a lost cause. So, I verbally kicked his ass... and he was begging me to stop... all I wanted to know was whether he understood he broke his promise to me, as a mentor to that kid, by not telling me his plans... and did he realize that he labeled that kid through his own blindness? He owned up to it... apologized to me, and this all happened in front of a witness. Yet, little good it did, since they'd already shipped the kid to no man's land. Anyhow.... now for the rest of the story. From what I heard, the kid was considered the hardest case that boarding school had ever seen. they all thought that kid could not be reached. He sat in the corner, refused to eat. He did this for a LONG time... and they were thinking they couldn't help him. Then, ever so slowly, the topics I had mentored to him about started to kick in. He started to do the self exam, he started to practice thinking of wasy to make it work in his favro, just like I taught him. Every little detail that challenged me to speak to him way back when, all came rushing into his consciousness right there... and he slowly shifted. ..... Then, gradually he rose to the occasion , and it's been almost a year now... but he is the team leader, the top guy... the one who helps all the other hard cases. complete turn around. I saw him, when he visited here in town, a few weeks after this photo of me was taken. He threw his arms around me, gave me a big hug and thanked me... his mom crying tears of joy. many people played a part in his life, and they still do. I feel a sense of satisfaction, to know that my gifts of service worked so well that day I spent with him. Running the risk of sounding like a looney tune, I mentored him in the way my inner voice said was the best way... the way that applied to him... yet, no outward evidence said that my mentoring was actually necessary. Everyone assured me they were seeing potential in the kid... Yet, I mentored th eway my innner sight required, and it turned out to be actually exactly what he needed. I see a future state senator in him. I saw a chance to see if I could be of use to a kid his age, sinc emy son is the same age and I still yearn to be near my son, while out here, at least I mentored to a boy who still doesn't know his true father... seems very interesting how we get chances to work out our lives by the grace of God/Goddess, even though it is a step removed like this. If all I ever did in my life was help this one kid, my life was a success. you know it's true. yeah. Now look at my face, and notice I am sending him care, yet concern for the future. I am wishing hope and excellence, yet I am saying, "be careful... watch your step.... be vigilant... pray"... it's ll here in this photo. the mother has now trimmed down, she has found peace. She is seeing her son blossom and he's doing it on his own. Yet, all that weight she carried, all those burdens are now being lifted. She told me, a few weeks back, that she felt she needed to move a few of her own mountains to keep up with him, he has progressed so much. this is what I said" You have already moved the mountains, long long ago... you are just seeing them moving now... but you started those mountains moving, long, long ago.... and it's not about keeping up with your son, it's about developing your potiential, continuing to do so, whcih (by the wa) you hve actually always been doing, except now, maybe it will be a little more fun"..... besides... "it will be easy, compared to the patience you have held strong to all these years.." and so it goes..... not becasue I said so, but becuase it is the flow of LIFE. funny how it feels when we swim with it, rather than fight it.... I guess I have my own internal process right now... plenty to keep me busy... knowing I could help someone else makes it a little easier to face my own challenges today... and they do seem huge...