I say I'm not an athlete.
I say I'm not an Athlete.
But I just started to finish off the last remains of a challenge that practically took me out of the game.
Starting to finish.... now what the H**l does that mean?
Ok.... it means I am finishing my true start of the real battle with a foot fungus I picked up from international land.... aka Palo Alto YMCA.
Mostly older guys and cops and professionals and macho glory hunters on their way to work use those YMCA facilities.
Imagine those wealthy and well connected and older eschelon dudes.... some with their nuts dragging to the floor... and fellow saggy assed geeks having to share a sauna with a die-hard artist like me?
Notice I sound like I have figured out my fellow sauna and work-out partners.... I haven't. I don't really know. I am just trying to balance what they notice about me... that, perhaps I am nothing but a deluded aging hippie, too harmless to track down and not worthy of their disdain...
Ouch.
I got too much sleep in my art-truck last night.
I sound like I think I know something... which, I am just now, realizing must be the free Starbuck's coffee talking.
Ouch.
If I keep this up, I'm going to be detracting from any previous blog offerings of compliance with this community/society/these fellow travelers.
Do get me wrong.... but then, don't get me wrong.... whatever.
In a second, I am going to get back to my original point.
I just wish it were legal and reasonable to share my sauna spiritual prayer time with women... let's put it that way. I mean, when I open my eyes and look around, I hate to say it... sometimes the best sights to encourage an ARTwarrior like me are too far away.
I mean.... there I am deep in meditation at the Ymca... with my prayer books and beads and ear-plugs... and I have to deal with overhearing silly conversations about nothing more than the current stock trades and next dollar... mostly delivered through affected macho tones... hear about the recent downloaded miss-information from our media suppliers/centers.... all during what I rarely ever get; a hot shower, and heat, heat, heat, to power up the prayers I try to get true enough to re-ignite my courage to travel further in this upside down world. Man... wouldn't a few swaying breasts be more the visual display to match ... or is there something to be gained from being among a cross section of folks who have bit the bullet in favor of a dollar and have the bodies to match those kinds of hard-ball choices.... think about it. When's the last time you equated business with nurturing and not cut-throat reality? Believe it or not, I still try to find a way for success to sneak up on me... I do not want to defeat oponents for my next meal. folks parade that as if it's all there is... I guess I should feel happy that they tolerate my presence... meanwhile, they are leaving more behind than their used air. You'll see what I mean.
Everyso often , I open my eyes to check the time so they won't have to cart me out in a coroner's wagon. 6 or seven rounds of 16 minutes each at 195 degrees. And, I have to notice dudes with their private parts aimed in my direction all around me, chattering as if they haven't had an original thought for a century.... and hear somebody huffing for their last breath.
Ouch.
Why in the world do I have to inflict this viewpoint now on you?
Well.
6 times in a row, I went there with no flip-flops.
6 times in a row, within a few days I had the most disgusting foot fungus.
5 times in a row, I kicked it's ass out of my life.
Notice that there's a discrepancy here.
You got it....
A whole year later, and I was laid up during Christmas break, house sitting , and unable to even walk.
Maybe among my fellow foot fungus travelers there were some Pharmaceutical technologists, besides CEOs, and the rest.... they probably need to get recognized in this one as well.
Since I've been my own doctor for over 30 years, and have shrunk tumors, etc. and healed a wide range of other maladies that get picked up in these communal type spaces ... and having survived all that using alternative and herbal healing remedies... I guess I was riding for a fall. Maybe I just needed to get my butt kicked.... Well, if so, then I have... so far... but I ain't dead yet. and I still have my leg and my toes... and THEIR foot fungus...
So, after trying for a year with everything I knew...I allowed friends to invite a regular doctor friend to look at the wound that I couldn't heal and that put me in the hands of current pharmaceutical technology. And that's when the Athlete's Foot fungus really got nasty.
The pharmaceutical prescribed, that I used, burned the skin off my foot over and over again before I realized I had gotten ass deep into a situation far more intense than any foot fungus I previously thought I had.
On my own, I figured it out. That took a month.
I explored the internet and discovered that the pharmaceutical was probably a synthesized version of ONE ingredient from Pau d' Arco, and amazing Amazon traditional healing plant tea remedy that's worked extremely well to heal a wide range of illnesses (including some cancers).
While I still had a foot with some skin on it left (not much), I dove into Pau d' Arco tea, and got enough of an edge to begin thinking clear again, and noticed a slight window of relief rebuilding, just in time.
The whole range of topic this brings up for me is all solved in the understanding that my compassion has once again been deepened through pain. It makes me wonder if there is any other way to truly accomplish compassion. the jokes I made earlier about my fellow travelers in the sauna were somewhat cruel, unless you realize that I still have to continue this process, or I facethe possibility of being where I was 3 weeks ago... a few minutes away from calling an ambulance.
It is quite possibile that a range of synthesized pharmaceuticals can actually do more harm, simply because they do not include the full range of synergistic elements that plant remedies include. You take one element that you think works, separate it from it's synergistice mineral/chemical/alkaloid companions and you patent it, so you can control the outcome for a price... when all along, in any health food store the remedy awaits in bulk form, the way Mother Nature made it... fully intact ane effectively efficient.
If you prescribe the synthesized version but leave it's partners out of the mix, you might kill a guy like me, while the same "drug" may cure 90% of everyone else...
I don't have the liver for Hydrochoride. I picked up a rattlesnake when I was a kid. It's amiracle my liver has reconditioned itself with the hlep of Milk Weed Thistle, now I found out I almost destroyed what was left of me, by believing in the fake version. Folks, I know people who lost family to Tylenol combined with Alchohol and they had better livers than I have! I don't even know what hydrochoride is... all I know is that off the shelf creams also included it as ingredient, but the pharmaceutical version of synthetic chemical with that combo had my leg swollen top to bottom. I used up 4 rolls of paper towels trying to conrol the steady flow of open wounds caused by the chemical burns! Amd I making sense to you now? Do you understand why I had to toss a few stones in the direction of the folks who keep going to those communal work-out centers and bring their fungus along with them? Since I captured this as my current project, I have kept it in-house... Why do all these responsible people carry it in and out invisibly to infect each other with no conscience???
I suspect that the hydro-cholride is the main ingredient I reacted to...I guess that it's mainly anti-bacterial, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I effectively applied the scientific theory while I was conscious enough to apply what little I knew about eliminating variables one by one and tracking reacitons. No doubt about it. I would have healed this long ago, if it weren't for the chemical burns.
I have heard that pharmaceutical companies are buying up the chemical formualtions of tradidtional rememdies then outlawing the traditional-natural forms of those remedies in 3rd world countries. I have heard this... but you have to find out for yourself, if this is so. they truly should be ashamed of themselves.... They combine with the synthetic version of the bastardized version of what Pau d' Arco really is. You can heal so much with a few cups of that tea... it's never been broke. The only reason they want to fix it and claim they made it is simple; greed. To take one tiny part of it and patent it then resell it in a thousand different version with a thousand different names is one reason only: GREED.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The only war on this planet is between the Haves and the Have-nots.
I get lured into noticing the difference of myself in the company of these other folks, by being weakened through what others bring and leave in the floor tiles of the YMCA. I get lured into participating in this self-protective posture, because they don't have a janitor there like the kind of Janitor I would be. If you can't see it, then it doesn't exist for most people. They will cough in your face, they will chew with their mouth open, they will go to the toilets and cook your food without washing their hands... simply selfish inconsiderate regular people like you and me... leaving a minefield in our wake, unless we carefully become responsible and limit our did-ease for th ebenfit of others, what are we really? I watched a person driving their high powered BMW through mass of traffic.... later down the road, there were cars wrecked, but not that person. I wonder, did they cause that? ... you can barely sense it or smell it... but I have always felt what lurks between the cracks. what are these people thinking? Have you ever watched their faces when you get in their way? Even thought they are running lights, they seem to never learn until they themselves get hurt. the cops let them go. they're too rich to arrest. too much reputation at stake. ButIt's not so pretty when it grows 3 feet long roots in your left leg, and you have just enough "second sight" to see what's really going on. Track it back to that old guy who takes so many anti-biotics that he keeps it in check (for now) while leaving a solid trail for your feet to become sacled and worse. Ouch. I wish this weren't true.....
That's the truth of foot fungus. So, sorry it hurts to know.
this is not a column for free medical advice. DO NOT TRY THIS AT home! I have to writie that to protect myslef from those very same kind of people.
Here's what ilearned... you judge it for yourself. If you adopt a foot fungus as an accidental traveling companion on your space ship physical body.... catch it early, especially if your immune system has been weakened (in my case, by the carcinogenic paint fumes my skin breathed in, back then, while I worked on the Aha! center tile floors, walls, paint, and concrete cracks.... as a volunteer) . Be advised, if you so choose, that any environmental toxic fumes, or stress, or poor diet can bring you to a place that a foot fungus will love you the best!
If you do not catch it early, then you could be in deep sh** and finished off quick by one mis-diagnosed/wrong pharmaceutical remedy, long before you even know that you could have just devoted a few weeks to the slightly bitter Pau d Arco tea regimen and a basic foot powder proven over time testing by a wide range of people...
It troubles me to know that the idots of this world continue to treat a fake beauty as real, while they destroy the very last of what's beautiful. this is what this foot fungus they left for me symbolizes to me.
For example.... you know what I mean, the kinds of folks who see beauty in nature in terms of the next golf course are the same kinds of people. You hike to a mountain top with them, then you soon regret it, because they immediately call someone on their satellite phone and buy it for he next ski resort.... And never think twice that we have to look at their eye sore from then on out... that our sacred space for communing with nature will not return short of the next tsunami... they see a valley where Shaman did vision quests for thousands of years, and they turn it into a spa -zone, and golf course (Sedona).
They haven't the guts to face their own inner motives alone in the mirrors of pristine nature. They have to conquer it to shut up it's impact on their souls.... so they have to crack jokes about the person sitting next to them who tries to live simple and pray for all of us while the world fades away.
I refuse to make them wrong anymore.... and I deeply apologize for this rant. I think my brain has been overtaken by the fungus.... maybe I am developing what they perfected... the ability to find "who is at fault" ... I truly do not want to interfere with the next ski doo or ski lodge or golf course. That's God's work. But I am so ashamed we have to lose it all first, while thesee jokers are trading favors and leaving their fungus for us. Unless I discover that the way I live grows stuff that I leave behind which might be better than a foot fungus, I am not truly certain I am any different. I eat, sh*t and will die like all of us will. Really, am I any better? when was the last time I created something through art that could make those folks feel welcome admiring more than money?
So... this blog , in reality is a certain kind of shame for me to face, upload, admit and recognize. they don't have to come and wrestle me dwon and away. I already know it... and I admit it.
...... in any case.... they, who are so anxious to find and root out the enemies. They who think that the movies put a face on the wrongs in our societies, so they can shoot them... go to war with them, jail them.... while they ignore their own peace and their own joy in their own homes.
They, who elect a governor who exemplifies taking guns to fix everything, who may in fact have been the role model for so many terrorists who love what Swartzenegger REALLY represented all these years.... shooting justice vigilante style with plastic weapons and fake face.
Don't they notice that all the wars Arnold ever fought were with plastic guns? Don't they notice that so many kids in our own countries, and inside our own homes/schools mimmick Arnold via DVD.... Don't they read the papers when kids use guns the same way Arnold taught them to, by example.... from day one?
Listen.
I am in favor of anybody trying to fix what they exemplified in their lives. I am not in favor of watching folks empower each other into vigilante squads on a world level. But if they choose to do that, it's in God's hands.... I have to accept that I may be the one that needs to be converted... maybe there is nothing here but survival of the fittest... Geez, it seems to have lured all the decent talent left to participate... hasn't it???
I have to consider that what's coming may actually all turn out beautiful, but one way or the other, it will be a ride for all of us who watch/participate/try to live separate in lives of simple peace and personal responsibility, while folks enact their process of war around us.
In other words, If you have a "fungus", don't use the YMCA! I sure haven't , because I care about NOT inflicting my pain on others .... for this reason, somebody else's disease so conveniently brought into my life through these invisible routes, has caused me to choose to protect the same ones that obviously do not care about infliction on me... so be it... at least, I will heal my own disease on my own time, if I am so blessed... be it disease of the heart, mind, body, or spirit and my style of conscience INCLUDES not to include folks who may get hurt by the fall-out of my process. I seek to protect them of my unfinished ideas... I seek to protect them from this kind of (blog suggested) reaction to their fungus. These are my choices... they keep me in relative peace... meanwhile, as I limp into the Aha! center, I get online and I guess I left a fungus of stupid menaingless jargon for folks who wonder if it is encoded. I reason that even my worst enemies do not deserve this foot fungus. It stops within me. It will not be passed along.
That's all that separates me from Bill O'Reilly.
If you have the switch in your hand and you can cut off the phone link with any one, and the whole world cheers you on while you cut them off... all the disagreers... cut off and shelved... what kind of society can you build? Not a democracy... not a democracy. but thank you Bill O'Reilly for the entertainment. I really wonder, why do the majority love those popping neck veins and angry tirade faces he makes so much???? It really wakes you up to notice that folks will probably hate me for suggesting that there may be other views, equally righteous as the ones he espouses.
In any case, I am glad that Bill can pay off somebody and cover up his wounds... for a time... out of sight out of mind... just like what lurks in the cracks and back alleys of our cities, towns, .....I sure wonder if he will ever decide to look in the mirror... doubt it.
Listen.
Here's what's gonna happen.
The folks with the privilige and power will continue to create in "our own best interests". They will be more interested in how it looks, than how it is.... they will elect Arnie as the poster boy... and it will look real as real can be... just like a movie. After they change the laws to make it possible, he'll be so swept up in it, he'll probably think he actually did it on his own... as usual.
But that's not the problem.
It really doesn't matter.
They are doing what they know.
The only question is this.
Are you bringing anything different to the table.
..........................
For 10 years, I reported on the unseen through my own cable access tv show. I warned people about Enron 2 years before it was announced. I warned people about greed unchecked and getting reasonable with the tech industries, stocks fluffed up, the reality of what was behind the cardboard movie set of the mock-up world that folks treated as everlasting and real, meanwhile they ripped off mom's and pops who will die suffering without a nest egg... they cheered each other on... and that wave went over the cliff long ago. Ouch. ... I warned people to regather what they held dear... nobody listened where I was broadcasting... and I cride myself into a ditch that I'm still trying to climb out of.....
Non-one in this whole wild wide world seems to be able to help create a forum between the Haves-and the Have-nots, that can make sense to the last compassionate few...
Can you bring your beauty to the playing field, please? Can you decide not to kill first and ask questions later?
Our responsibilites include what we do in our own houses, how we measure success, whether we ever go out into nature and feel nurtured by it. It's waiting, ready. Are you?
Fine.
Does it really matter?
What's in your own heart... and what you are doing with that, is your own business...
As I get older, I am learning that most of these systems seem to be under the protective forces of our creator. You may not agree. That's ok. Either way, we will each face our own deaths and have to make peace with how well we do.
Granted. I have a lot of territory to reclaim in my own heart.
I feel really bad that I said all this stuff here.
Arnie doesn't deserve it. I don't even know him. who knows, maybe Bill O'reilly would be a great drinking buddy. I am sure there are incredible numbers of things I'd have in common with all those folks including the two Georges. That's what scares me most, i my own secret heart.
You see.... all need is to be able to afford a decent meal, a car that won't break down, a warm dry place to call a home and I'd be so busy, I'd never have time to write this kind of Blog.
You would be amazed how many times I succumbed to a good meal and puss. I'm easy to manage. keep me in survival and and keep me challenged by what those other folks toss away, and I am just a wimpering pup.... meaningless. then, feed me a good meal, and all of a sudden I am so happy I don't even think about a better world.
My God. I was even thinking about studying to become a stock trader. Can you imagine that? Next thing you know, I would be out rounding up the "enemy" and maybe listening to Bill and Arnie about who that really is.
Naw.... I am fine with the simple struggles of being an artist.
and I am dreaming about walking without pain for a change.
Plenty to keep me busy right here.
yeah yeah yeah.
p.s.
I find it very interesting that even my best of friends have, at times, fought tooth and nail and run off with more than their share.
Not always... but definitely on par with the idiots who invest in the last of the remaining pristine land to ruin. Even I have done the same, because in those days, I certainly was not ready to live anything close to my true potential without such damage.
I stand accused because I held on to a little too much (in thought only), back then. It may not have been money. the illusion of opportunity that I kept to myself ... when I could have shared.
So, I have my work cut out FOR ME.
.....................................
Oh yeah, I prayed for brick walls since age 18.... it is a fact.
I prayed for brick walls rather than become overpowered by ego, money, fame or any temptations... so I got a lot of brick walls.... a lot of wrecks.... it occurred to me that I could sit there in that pain resulting from my own conjured brick walls, and want to wish evil on others from a distance, thinking I had found the reason for who to blame for whatever.... I knew just enough to stop all my "machines"; mental, emotional, physical, spiritual systems that were pulling me forwards. that's what I mean by brick walls. Every time I stopped my process right in the middle of sure success, dear friends and even family ran like hell. Everybody runs from a train wreck... All I was doing was shifting out of my mode when I saw that others suffered while I gained. I shifted out of it... and absorbed the loss. I had to get right inside. Folks saw me super-charged then disappear. What I knew, for absolutely certain, was that I was not ready for real power, lasting love, or true beauty, or conscience clear money... I let my competition take it, steal it, chase it from me... I let them have it... and I watched them close to see what they did with what they "stole" from me. What did they gain from keeping that one selfish secret? I wa curious. Now, I look back and I am intriqued by the kind of person I had to be to survive that. It's almost as if I wasn't geared to what this world is made of. anyone with eyes can see (as I do now) that sharks lurk everywhere and the prey get eaten... what in the world was I thinking? Was i really so naiive not to understand that I could avert some of m own losses by being a little more selfish... or should I just put on the safron robe and let it all go, like Sidhartha... it sure seems like I better answer this question. What woman would ever feel protected by this kind of warrior? Would she respect me for the battles I could have won, but chose to drop my positon rather than do that kind of war/fight/battle in my personal life?
I I know is this, when I knew I was out of line... I stepped back.
There are definitely walls people create around them selves by their own thoughts, words, work , deeds... there are some who seem to feel their only escape is to continue as if all is well, and withold the truth. You may, at last notice that I am not content unless I answer some of these questins posed here. Only I will know, for myself my own answers... maybe you will be feeling encouraged to consider siilar questions that relate to who you are.
I hope I haven't judged you away from your own solution.
I suggest that it might be a good idea to regather your internal energy, take time away and gain perspective... then wear flip flops, like I will, the next time I go back in to a shared communal "Ceremonial Sweat lodge" . And I better be ready to recieve the prayers of those who consider me their enemy and to pray for those "enemies" as well as myself.... or, what in the world good can any of my prayers really be????
Don't be fooled about how pretty things look. Your wife will love you while you're famous and leave you in a heart beat for something better if you get found out.
It will take me a long time to understand why women sleep with killers in this world... but it's too big of an idea to solve... for anyone to solve.
Maybe understanding some things seems like a a waste of time. I surely agree... sure seems so to me too. There are 3 paintings waiting for me, and I used my energy on this.
I hope to soon get myself into a position whereby I can forget all this and just greet the new persons I meet whoever they are, for their own value, right in front of me... and find a new way to overlook the path that took us both to that meeting. Becasue, no matter who we are, or who we ever meet... we can always change each other as a result of what we become through true interaction.
I like to try to practice this as upgrade reality. In other words, if you decide, before you walk out the door each day, that you will seek to interact with others in a way that upgrades result rather than just mudane auto pilot living. If that means, catching a breath or managing a thought or doing a deed of kindness... would the world be incredibly great adventure overnight if we all made the same choice to intentionally upgrade each and every interaction?
It's more than enough to keep us all busy.
I hope I never feel like doing another blog entry on these kinds of subjects.
Now, as a goodbye salute .... Time to salute the trends of our day, see God's/Goddess's sparkly smile beneath the ugly fungus we thought we had to embrace, and know that it's all in good hands and we have enough to do co-operating with our won healing.
yeah yeah yeah.
yeah yeah yeah...
But I just started to finish off the last remains of a challenge that practically took me out of the game.
Starting to finish.... now what the H**l does that mean?
Ok.... it means I am finishing my true start of the real battle with a foot fungus I picked up from international land.... aka Palo Alto YMCA.
Mostly older guys and cops and professionals and macho glory hunters on their way to work use those YMCA facilities.
Imagine those wealthy and well connected and older eschelon dudes.... some with their nuts dragging to the floor... and fellow saggy assed geeks having to share a sauna with a die-hard artist like me?
Notice I sound like I have figured out my fellow sauna and work-out partners.... I haven't. I don't really know. I am just trying to balance what they notice about me... that, perhaps I am nothing but a deluded aging hippie, too harmless to track down and not worthy of their disdain...
Ouch.
I got too much sleep in my art-truck last night.
I sound like I think I know something... which, I am just now, realizing must be the free Starbuck's coffee talking.
Ouch.
If I keep this up, I'm going to be detracting from any previous blog offerings of compliance with this community/society/these fellow travelers.
Do get me wrong.... but then, don't get me wrong.... whatever.
In a second, I am going to get back to my original point.
I just wish it were legal and reasonable to share my sauna spiritual prayer time with women... let's put it that way. I mean, when I open my eyes and look around, I hate to say it... sometimes the best sights to encourage an ARTwarrior like me are too far away.
I mean.... there I am deep in meditation at the Ymca... with my prayer books and beads and ear-plugs... and I have to deal with overhearing silly conversations about nothing more than the current stock trades and next dollar... mostly delivered through affected macho tones... hear about the recent downloaded miss-information from our media suppliers/centers.... all during what I rarely ever get; a hot shower, and heat, heat, heat, to power up the prayers I try to get true enough to re-ignite my courage to travel further in this upside down world. Man... wouldn't a few swaying breasts be more the visual display to match ... or is there something to be gained from being among a cross section of folks who have bit the bullet in favor of a dollar and have the bodies to match those kinds of hard-ball choices.... think about it. When's the last time you equated business with nurturing and not cut-throat reality? Believe it or not, I still try to find a way for success to sneak up on me... I do not want to defeat oponents for my next meal. folks parade that as if it's all there is... I guess I should feel happy that they tolerate my presence... meanwhile, they are leaving more behind than their used air. You'll see what I mean.
Everyso often , I open my eyes to check the time so they won't have to cart me out in a coroner's wagon. 6 or seven rounds of 16 minutes each at 195 degrees. And, I have to notice dudes with their private parts aimed in my direction all around me, chattering as if they haven't had an original thought for a century.... and hear somebody huffing for their last breath.
Ouch.
Why in the world do I have to inflict this viewpoint now on you?
Well.
6 times in a row, I went there with no flip-flops.
6 times in a row, within a few days I had the most disgusting foot fungus.
5 times in a row, I kicked it's ass out of my life.
Notice that there's a discrepancy here.
You got it....
A whole year later, and I was laid up during Christmas break, house sitting , and unable to even walk.
Maybe among my fellow foot fungus travelers there were some Pharmaceutical technologists, besides CEOs, and the rest.... they probably need to get recognized in this one as well.
Since I've been my own doctor for over 30 years, and have shrunk tumors, etc. and healed a wide range of other maladies that get picked up in these communal type spaces ... and having survived all that using alternative and herbal healing remedies... I guess I was riding for a fall. Maybe I just needed to get my butt kicked.... Well, if so, then I have... so far... but I ain't dead yet. and I still have my leg and my toes... and THEIR foot fungus...
So, after trying for a year with everything I knew...I allowed friends to invite a regular doctor friend to look at the wound that I couldn't heal and that put me in the hands of current pharmaceutical technology. And that's when the Athlete's Foot fungus really got nasty.
The pharmaceutical prescribed, that I used, burned the skin off my foot over and over again before I realized I had gotten ass deep into a situation far more intense than any foot fungus I previously thought I had.
On my own, I figured it out. That took a month.
I explored the internet and discovered that the pharmaceutical was probably a synthesized version of ONE ingredient from Pau d' Arco, and amazing Amazon traditional healing plant tea remedy that's worked extremely well to heal a wide range of illnesses (including some cancers).
While I still had a foot with some skin on it left (not much), I dove into Pau d' Arco tea, and got enough of an edge to begin thinking clear again, and noticed a slight window of relief rebuilding, just in time.
The whole range of topic this brings up for me is all solved in the understanding that my compassion has once again been deepened through pain. It makes me wonder if there is any other way to truly accomplish compassion. the jokes I made earlier about my fellow travelers in the sauna were somewhat cruel, unless you realize that I still have to continue this process, or I facethe possibility of being where I was 3 weeks ago... a few minutes away from calling an ambulance.
It is quite possibile that a range of synthesized pharmaceuticals can actually do more harm, simply because they do not include the full range of synergistic elements that plant remedies include. You take one element that you think works, separate it from it's synergistice mineral/chemical/alkaloid companions and you patent it, so you can control the outcome for a price... when all along, in any health food store the remedy awaits in bulk form, the way Mother Nature made it... fully intact ane effectively efficient.
If you prescribe the synthesized version but leave it's partners out of the mix, you might kill a guy like me, while the same "drug" may cure 90% of everyone else...
I don't have the liver for Hydrochoride. I picked up a rattlesnake when I was a kid. It's amiracle my liver has reconditioned itself with the hlep of Milk Weed Thistle, now I found out I almost destroyed what was left of me, by believing in the fake version. Folks, I know people who lost family to Tylenol combined with Alchohol and they had better livers than I have! I don't even know what hydrochoride is... all I know is that off the shelf creams also included it as ingredient, but the pharmaceutical version of synthetic chemical with that combo had my leg swollen top to bottom. I used up 4 rolls of paper towels trying to conrol the steady flow of open wounds caused by the chemical burns! Amd I making sense to you now? Do you understand why I had to toss a few stones in the direction of the folks who keep going to those communal work-out centers and bring their fungus along with them? Since I captured this as my current project, I have kept it in-house... Why do all these responsible people carry it in and out invisibly to infect each other with no conscience???
I suspect that the hydro-cholride is the main ingredient I reacted to...I guess that it's mainly anti-bacterial, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I effectively applied the scientific theory while I was conscious enough to apply what little I knew about eliminating variables one by one and tracking reacitons. No doubt about it. I would have healed this long ago, if it weren't for the chemical burns.
I have heard that pharmaceutical companies are buying up the chemical formualtions of tradidtional rememdies then outlawing the traditional-natural forms of those remedies in 3rd world countries. I have heard this... but you have to find out for yourself, if this is so. they truly should be ashamed of themselves.... They combine with the synthetic version of the bastardized version of what Pau d' Arco really is. You can heal so much with a few cups of that tea... it's never been broke. The only reason they want to fix it and claim they made it is simple; greed. To take one tiny part of it and patent it then resell it in a thousand different version with a thousand different names is one reason only: GREED.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The only war on this planet is between the Haves and the Have-nots.
I get lured into noticing the difference of myself in the company of these other folks, by being weakened through what others bring and leave in the floor tiles of the YMCA. I get lured into participating in this self-protective posture, because they don't have a janitor there like the kind of Janitor I would be. If you can't see it, then it doesn't exist for most people. They will cough in your face, they will chew with their mouth open, they will go to the toilets and cook your food without washing their hands... simply selfish inconsiderate regular people like you and me... leaving a minefield in our wake, unless we carefully become responsible and limit our did-ease for th ebenfit of others, what are we really? I watched a person driving their high powered BMW through mass of traffic.... later down the road, there were cars wrecked, but not that person. I wonder, did they cause that? ... you can barely sense it or smell it... but I have always felt what lurks between the cracks. what are these people thinking? Have you ever watched their faces when you get in their way? Even thought they are running lights, they seem to never learn until they themselves get hurt. the cops let them go. they're too rich to arrest. too much reputation at stake. ButIt's not so pretty when it grows 3 feet long roots in your left leg, and you have just enough "second sight" to see what's really going on. Track it back to that old guy who takes so many anti-biotics that he keeps it in check (for now) while leaving a solid trail for your feet to become sacled and worse. Ouch. I wish this weren't true.....
That's the truth of foot fungus. So, sorry it hurts to know.
this is not a column for free medical advice. DO NOT TRY THIS AT home! I have to writie that to protect myslef from those very same kind of people.
Here's what ilearned... you judge it for yourself. If you adopt a foot fungus as an accidental traveling companion on your space ship physical body.... catch it early, especially if your immune system has been weakened (in my case, by the carcinogenic paint fumes my skin breathed in, back then, while I worked on the Aha! center tile floors, walls, paint, and concrete cracks.... as a volunteer) . Be advised, if you so choose, that any environmental toxic fumes, or stress, or poor diet can bring you to a place that a foot fungus will love you the best!
If you do not catch it early, then you could be in deep sh** and finished off quick by one mis-diagnosed/wrong pharmaceutical remedy, long before you even know that you could have just devoted a few weeks to the slightly bitter Pau d Arco tea regimen and a basic foot powder proven over time testing by a wide range of people...
It troubles me to know that the idots of this world continue to treat a fake beauty as real, while they destroy the very last of what's beautiful. this is what this foot fungus they left for me symbolizes to me.
For example.... you know what I mean, the kinds of folks who see beauty in nature in terms of the next golf course are the same kinds of people. You hike to a mountain top with them, then you soon regret it, because they immediately call someone on their satellite phone and buy it for he next ski resort.... And never think twice that we have to look at their eye sore from then on out... that our sacred space for communing with nature will not return short of the next tsunami... they see a valley where Shaman did vision quests for thousands of years, and they turn it into a spa -zone, and golf course (Sedona).
They haven't the guts to face their own inner motives alone in the mirrors of pristine nature. They have to conquer it to shut up it's impact on their souls.... so they have to crack jokes about the person sitting next to them who tries to live simple and pray for all of us while the world fades away.
I refuse to make them wrong anymore.... and I deeply apologize for this rant. I think my brain has been overtaken by the fungus.... maybe I am developing what they perfected... the ability to find "who is at fault" ... I truly do not want to interfere with the next ski doo or ski lodge or golf course. That's God's work. But I am so ashamed we have to lose it all first, while thesee jokers are trading favors and leaving their fungus for us. Unless I discover that the way I live grows stuff that I leave behind which might be better than a foot fungus, I am not truly certain I am any different. I eat, sh*t and will die like all of us will. Really, am I any better? when was the last time I created something through art that could make those folks feel welcome admiring more than money?
So... this blog , in reality is a certain kind of shame for me to face, upload, admit and recognize. they don't have to come and wrestle me dwon and away. I already know it... and I admit it.
...... in any case.... they, who are so anxious to find and root out the enemies. They who think that the movies put a face on the wrongs in our societies, so they can shoot them... go to war with them, jail them.... while they ignore their own peace and their own joy in their own homes.
They, who elect a governor who exemplifies taking guns to fix everything, who may in fact have been the role model for so many terrorists who love what Swartzenegger REALLY represented all these years.... shooting justice vigilante style with plastic weapons and fake face.
Don't they notice that all the wars Arnold ever fought were with plastic guns? Don't they notice that so many kids in our own countries, and inside our own homes/schools mimmick Arnold via DVD.... Don't they read the papers when kids use guns the same way Arnold taught them to, by example.... from day one?
Listen.
I am in favor of anybody trying to fix what they exemplified in their lives. I am not in favor of watching folks empower each other into vigilante squads on a world level. But if they choose to do that, it's in God's hands.... I have to accept that I may be the one that needs to be converted... maybe there is nothing here but survival of the fittest... Geez, it seems to have lured all the decent talent left to participate... hasn't it???
I have to consider that what's coming may actually all turn out beautiful, but one way or the other, it will be a ride for all of us who watch/participate/try to live separate in lives of simple peace and personal responsibility, while folks enact their process of war around us.
In other words, If you have a "fungus", don't use the YMCA! I sure haven't , because I care about NOT inflicting my pain on others .... for this reason, somebody else's disease so conveniently brought into my life through these invisible routes, has caused me to choose to protect the same ones that obviously do not care about infliction on me... so be it... at least, I will heal my own disease on my own time, if I am so blessed... be it disease of the heart, mind, body, or spirit and my style of conscience INCLUDES not to include folks who may get hurt by the fall-out of my process. I seek to protect them of my unfinished ideas... I seek to protect them from this kind of (blog suggested) reaction to their fungus. These are my choices... they keep me in relative peace... meanwhile, as I limp into the Aha! center, I get online and I guess I left a fungus of stupid menaingless jargon for folks who wonder if it is encoded. I reason that even my worst enemies do not deserve this foot fungus. It stops within me. It will not be passed along.
That's all that separates me from Bill O'Reilly.
If you have the switch in your hand and you can cut off the phone link with any one, and the whole world cheers you on while you cut them off... all the disagreers... cut off and shelved... what kind of society can you build? Not a democracy... not a democracy. but thank you Bill O'Reilly for the entertainment. I really wonder, why do the majority love those popping neck veins and angry tirade faces he makes so much???? It really wakes you up to notice that folks will probably hate me for suggesting that there may be other views, equally righteous as the ones he espouses.
In any case, I am glad that Bill can pay off somebody and cover up his wounds... for a time... out of sight out of mind... just like what lurks in the cracks and back alleys of our cities, towns, .....I sure wonder if he will ever decide to look in the mirror... doubt it.
Listen.
Here's what's gonna happen.
The folks with the privilige and power will continue to create in "our own best interests". They will be more interested in how it looks, than how it is.... they will elect Arnie as the poster boy... and it will look real as real can be... just like a movie. After they change the laws to make it possible, he'll be so swept up in it, he'll probably think he actually did it on his own... as usual.
But that's not the problem.
It really doesn't matter.
They are doing what they know.
The only question is this.
Are you bringing anything different to the table.
..........................
For 10 years, I reported on the unseen through my own cable access tv show. I warned people about Enron 2 years before it was announced. I warned people about greed unchecked and getting reasonable with the tech industries, stocks fluffed up, the reality of what was behind the cardboard movie set of the mock-up world that folks treated as everlasting and real, meanwhile they ripped off mom's and pops who will die suffering without a nest egg... they cheered each other on... and that wave went over the cliff long ago. Ouch. ... I warned people to regather what they held dear... nobody listened where I was broadcasting... and I cride myself into a ditch that I'm still trying to climb out of.....
Non-one in this whole wild wide world seems to be able to help create a forum between the Haves-and the Have-nots, that can make sense to the last compassionate few...
Can you bring your beauty to the playing field, please? Can you decide not to kill first and ask questions later?
Our responsibilites include what we do in our own houses, how we measure success, whether we ever go out into nature and feel nurtured by it. It's waiting, ready. Are you?
Fine.
Does it really matter?
What's in your own heart... and what you are doing with that, is your own business...
As I get older, I am learning that most of these systems seem to be under the protective forces of our creator. You may not agree. That's ok. Either way, we will each face our own deaths and have to make peace with how well we do.
Granted. I have a lot of territory to reclaim in my own heart.
I feel really bad that I said all this stuff here.
Arnie doesn't deserve it. I don't even know him. who knows, maybe Bill O'reilly would be a great drinking buddy. I am sure there are incredible numbers of things I'd have in common with all those folks including the two Georges. That's what scares me most, i my own secret heart.
You see.... all need is to be able to afford a decent meal, a car that won't break down, a warm dry place to call a home and I'd be so busy, I'd never have time to write this kind of Blog.
You would be amazed how many times I succumbed to a good meal and puss. I'm easy to manage. keep me in survival and and keep me challenged by what those other folks toss away, and I am just a wimpering pup.... meaningless. then, feed me a good meal, and all of a sudden I am so happy I don't even think about a better world.
My God. I was even thinking about studying to become a stock trader. Can you imagine that? Next thing you know, I would be out rounding up the "enemy" and maybe listening to Bill and Arnie about who that really is.
Naw.... I am fine with the simple struggles of being an artist.
and I am dreaming about walking without pain for a change.
Plenty to keep me busy right here.
yeah yeah yeah.
p.s.
I find it very interesting that even my best of friends have, at times, fought tooth and nail and run off with more than their share.
Not always... but definitely on par with the idiots who invest in the last of the remaining pristine land to ruin. Even I have done the same, because in those days, I certainly was not ready to live anything close to my true potential without such damage.
I stand accused because I held on to a little too much (in thought only), back then. It may not have been money. the illusion of opportunity that I kept to myself ... when I could have shared.
So, I have my work cut out FOR ME.
.....................................
Oh yeah, I prayed for brick walls since age 18.... it is a fact.
I prayed for brick walls rather than become overpowered by ego, money, fame or any temptations... so I got a lot of brick walls.... a lot of wrecks.... it occurred to me that I could sit there in that pain resulting from my own conjured brick walls, and want to wish evil on others from a distance, thinking I had found the reason for who to blame for whatever.... I knew just enough to stop all my "machines"; mental, emotional, physical, spiritual systems that were pulling me forwards. that's what I mean by brick walls. Every time I stopped my process right in the middle of sure success, dear friends and even family ran like hell. Everybody runs from a train wreck... All I was doing was shifting out of my mode when I saw that others suffered while I gained. I shifted out of it... and absorbed the loss. I had to get right inside. Folks saw me super-charged then disappear. What I knew, for absolutely certain, was that I was not ready for real power, lasting love, or true beauty, or conscience clear money... I let my competition take it, steal it, chase it from me... I let them have it... and I watched them close to see what they did with what they "stole" from me. What did they gain from keeping that one selfish secret? I wa curious. Now, I look back and I am intriqued by the kind of person I had to be to survive that. It's almost as if I wasn't geared to what this world is made of. anyone with eyes can see (as I do now) that sharks lurk everywhere and the prey get eaten... what in the world was I thinking? Was i really so naiive not to understand that I could avert some of m own losses by being a little more selfish... or should I just put on the safron robe and let it all go, like Sidhartha... it sure seems like I better answer this question. What woman would ever feel protected by this kind of warrior? Would she respect me for the battles I could have won, but chose to drop my positon rather than do that kind of war/fight/battle in my personal life?
I I know is this, when I knew I was out of line... I stepped back.
There are definitely walls people create around them selves by their own thoughts, words, work , deeds... there are some who seem to feel their only escape is to continue as if all is well, and withold the truth. You may, at last notice that I am not content unless I answer some of these questins posed here. Only I will know, for myself my own answers... maybe you will be feeling encouraged to consider siilar questions that relate to who you are.
I hope I haven't judged you away from your own solution.
I suggest that it might be a good idea to regather your internal energy, take time away and gain perspective... then wear flip flops, like I will, the next time I go back in to a shared communal "Ceremonial Sweat lodge" . And I better be ready to recieve the prayers of those who consider me their enemy and to pray for those "enemies" as well as myself.... or, what in the world good can any of my prayers really be????
Don't be fooled about how pretty things look. Your wife will love you while you're famous and leave you in a heart beat for something better if you get found out.
It will take me a long time to understand why women sleep with killers in this world... but it's too big of an idea to solve... for anyone to solve.
Maybe understanding some things seems like a a waste of time. I surely agree... sure seems so to me too. There are 3 paintings waiting for me, and I used my energy on this.
I hope to soon get myself into a position whereby I can forget all this and just greet the new persons I meet whoever they are, for their own value, right in front of me... and find a new way to overlook the path that took us both to that meeting. Becasue, no matter who we are, or who we ever meet... we can always change each other as a result of what we become through true interaction.
I like to try to practice this as upgrade reality. In other words, if you decide, before you walk out the door each day, that you will seek to interact with others in a way that upgrades result rather than just mudane auto pilot living. If that means, catching a breath or managing a thought or doing a deed of kindness... would the world be incredibly great adventure overnight if we all made the same choice to intentionally upgrade each and every interaction?
It's more than enough to keep us all busy.
I hope I never feel like doing another blog entry on these kinds of subjects.
Now, as a goodbye salute .... Time to salute the trends of our day, see God's/Goddess's sparkly smile beneath the ugly fungus we thought we had to embrace, and know that it's all in good hands and we have enough to do co-operating with our won healing.
yeah yeah yeah.
yeah yeah yeah...
posted by Toe Knee at 2:28 AM
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